| |
|
 |
From a Taxing individual with $45 An Attorney and an Tax Accountant are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Attorney leans over to the Tax Accountant and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Tax Accountant just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Attorney persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains 'I ask you a question , and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.' Again, the Tax Accountant politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The Attorney, now somewhat agitated, says 'OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!'This catches the Tax Accountant's complete attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Attorney asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the earth to the moon?' The Tax Accountant doesn't say a word, reaches in to his wallet, pull out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the Attorney. Now, it's the Tax Accountant's turn. He asks the Attorney: 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The Attorney looks at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the Tax Accountant and hands him $50. The Tax Accountant politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The Attorney, more that a little miffed, shakes the Tax Accountant and asks, 'Well, so what IS the answer?' Without a word, the Tax Accountant reaches into his wallet, hands the Attorney $5 and goes back to sleep.
Q. How can you tell the difference between a dead accountant lying in
the road, and a dead deer lying in the road? Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q. How do you drive an accountant absolutely insane? Three accountants walk into a bar, and each orders a beer. They raise their glasses and make a toast: "Here's to 59!" After downing their beers, they order another round and make the same toast: "Here's to 59!" This happens again and again. Finally, the bartender asks the accountants what the significance of the toast is. "Well," said one of them, "we put a 1,000-piece jigsaw Puzzle together in just 59 days!" "And that's a big deal?" asked the barkeep. "You bet," said the same accountant, "the box said 4 to 8 YEARS!!!" Accountants aren't boring people, The lawyer dies, and somehow (s)he goes to heaven. As the attorney passes
through the pearly gates, a crowd is waiting, cheering. A surgeon, an accountant and a lawyer were arguing about which of them was practicing the oldest profession. The surgeon said "God created Eve from Adam's rib. Obviously, God is a surgeon, so medicine is the oldest profession." The Accountant protested, "Before God created Eve from Adam's rib, He created an orderly universe from chaos. That clearly shows that God was an accountant before He was a surgeon. Accounting, then, has to be the oldest profession." The lawyer sat for a moment wryly smiling, looking at the surgeon and the accountant. "That may be true," the lawyer said shrugging his shoulders, "but who created the chaos?" Q. Why did the Accountant cross the road??? Q. What kind of ant can count? ENGINEERS vs. ACCOUNTANTS Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the
three engineers buy only a single ticket. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats
but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting
tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. When they board the train, the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? Q: Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? Q. Why do audit firms only have 10 minute coffee breaks? More Jokes Home | Who We Are | What We Are | Where We Are | Tax Humor | Tax News | Resources William M West Certified Public Accountant Last Updated 1-17-98 | ||
